Saturday, May 21, 2011

ETC 6 Nations Round 5: England.

Hello. I'm scouting ahead of the Queen to make sure this city is safe.
Round 6 and the defending champions are up against the Old Enemy and only we can stop them. That's the romantic version. We were in 3rd place, with Wales in 2nd and England leading the pack. England only needed a draw to win it because of their VP's already scored  because we'd ruled ourselves out of it by drawing with the Nordies in Round 1.

Speaking of people being late: a big shout out to Mark (our stand-in Guard player) who got very drunk the night before and went home with 'some wee wan' according to ComplainyShanie (better known as Root).

Thankfully Ivan was able to stand in at the last minute. Yeah, the old drink tends to have a detrimental effect on the 40k tourney performances of Cork players alright. Thinking about it now if I had been in Mark's shoes I'd have done exactly the same thing. But with more mooing.

Primary: Capture & Control
Secondary: Kill Points
Deployment: Pitched Battle

At this stage it was England 7 points, Ireland 6, Wales 6, Scotland 2, the Nordies 1 and the poor Barbars 0. I was thrown into the ring with Harry Allen's Battlewagon Orks and had no idea what to do with it. I had 6 Meltas, 4 Rockets and 2 combat monsters with S10 that would realistically only hit on 6's.

I won the roll to go first and took it. I plopped the Fangs on my right to distract his Wagons, a Rhino squad to their left behind a forest, the Wolfblob (TWC + Fenris Wolves) in the centre and 2 Rhinos on the left with the objective bang in the left-hand corner. Harry popped his objective in the far right corner, and shielded it with his Wagons and Killa Kans with a Dread in the left corner. You can get an idea of our set up in the pic at the top.

Harry's list was:
Warboss with Mega Armour (40), Boss Pole (5), Cybork Body (10), = 115
Big Mek with Kustom Force Field (50), Boss Pole (5) = 90
5 Meganobz 4 kombi shoota-skorcha (20) = 220
5 Meganobz 4 kombi shoota-skorcha (20) = 220
16 Ork Boyz Choppa & Slugga (0), Nob (10), with Power Claw (25), ‘eavy armour (5) = 142
16 Ork Boyz Choppa & Slugga (0), Nob (10), with Power Claw (25), ‘eavy armour (5) = 142
10 Grots, Runtherd (10) = 40
Deff Dread (75), Grot Riggers (5), Armour Plates (10), 2 Additional DCWs (30) = 120
Battlewagon with armour plates (10), Red Paint Job (5), Deff Rolla (20), Big Shoota (5), Grot Riggers (5) = 135
Battlewagon with armour plates (10), Red Paint Job (5), Deff Rolla (20), Big Shoota (5), Grot Riggers (5) = 135
3 Killer Kans (105), 3 Big Shoota (15) = 120
Battlewagon with armour plates (10), Red Paint Job (5), Deff Rolla (20), Big Shoota (5), = 130
Battlewagon with armour plates (10), Red Paint Job (5), Deff Rolla (20), Big Shoota (5), Grot Riggers (5), Boarding Plank (5) = 140

Turns 1-4
Harry sat in his corner shifting a few inches for 3 turns, gunning down the Fangs in his first turn, before changing his mind in turn 4 and chasing after the Wolfblob in the middle. By this stage the Dread he'd placed on my far left was dead and the Rhinos were swinging back to support the Wolfblob.

Before I forget: kudos to Harry. He took everything in his stride and was very relaxed. He didn't mind burning time during our game while I searched for drinks (no shops were open nearby) and we had a chat at the top of Turn 5 about the lack of work, pay cuts and the state of both of our nation's economies. He was shocked when I told him I can earn over €300 a week on the dole here despite the IMF-inspired/imposed austerity conditions. I was shocked when he asked how a country so underpopulated could support such payments.

'Yeah, I got the bus over and I saw how green the place is and noticed that there just aren't that many people here living outside the cities.'

Cue one of the other lads: *Cough*Famine*Cough. In fairness to him I don't think Harry heard that one but I pissed myself laughing all the same. He just looked confused. So we headed back in. I was glad that I'd got some fresh air and a bit of time to think about what I'd do next. Unfortunately so did he.

Turn 5
The pic on the left shows where the Wolfblob ended up in my Turn 5 because I had only managed to move a total of 10" in 2 turns through terrain. I hadn't killed a single Battlewagon and I left facing down a line of the damn things.

The Ork Charge
Multi-charging Mutha-fuckas.
Harry took a few minutes to think about how his Turn 5 game-winning charge was going to go. He gunned down all the Wolves netting himself another KP before throwing a Mega-armoured Warboss with 5 Meganobs, 4 other Meganobs and 19 Orks with a Power-Klaw Nob and multi-charging 3 of the now IC (according to ETC rules) HQ choices. He killed the WGBL outright with the Boys, bagged the Frost Blade one wounded the Warboss twice before going down while the Nobs wounded the Claw Lord once while he took out two Nobs in return. The Claw Lord was the man of the hour passing 7 out of 8 of his saves and keeping me in it by drawing combat. Fucking A. Now I just needed another turn.

Turn 6
I got it. Although I was still well down on KPs I had a chance to claw some back. They Grey Hunters in their Rhinos on my left hopped out and popped their Banners before sprinting towards the unit of Boys while the unit of Hunters that were in my backfield hopped out of their tank to take a shot at a Battlewagon nearby. I forgot to move their Rhino but I was happy enough when they managed to pop a Wagon and exposed the Mek.

I multi-charged (this will get its own post in detail later): with 2 units of Grey Hunters targeting the Boys with a Wolf Guard hitting the small Nob (heh, heh heh) mob and the Bear Lord that had cleverly been left out in the initial charge diving into the other group. The Hunters with all their re-rolls killed a total of 5 boys. I lost 3 Grey Hunters for my troubles. This wasn't going well.

Now THIS is a brawl.
That was until the Meganobs fluffed their attacks doing only one wound on the Claw Lord, allowing the Bear Lord to annihilate the Nobs (I hit and wounded 5 times), the Claw Lord bagged the wounded Warboss (1 wound caused and an invul save failed on a 4) and I ended up winning by lots. Because it was one big combat the Orks needed snake eyes to pass - they didn't and ran off.

Cue me punching the air - 4 KP at once and another from a GH squad that had popped a Wagon that turn put me one ahead. Harry, in fairness to him kept calm and picked his targets carefully: Instead of trying to run over my melta-toting Grey Hunters he threw his Wagons forward and Deathrolla'd the Claw Lord, and punished me for forgetting to move the Rhino in my backfield by dumping out the unit inside and glancing it to death so there could be no explosion when I was hoping it would detonate from the Nob's Power Klaw attacks.

With that we were out of time.

End result: a 10-10 draw. Had I moved the Rhino it probably would have been 12-8 but I can't really complain as Harry had the game won by a country mile on Turn 5 before it dragged on and it was my own fault for being sloppy. It wouldn't have made a difference anyway as England got 2 20-0's (one against our stand-in Guard player who hadn't played in a while) which gave them enough points for a win and the tournament.

I had a great laugh over the course of the weekend and I was surprised that I was able to hold my own against lists that I thought would wreck me altogether. I found that I did miss the Rune Priest's 4+ and more Long Fangs alright but I was pleased to step out of my comfort zone and hold my own with an unconventional (read: a bit crap) list.

I have a few ideas for the ETC that I'm going to work away with. That'll be after multi-charging post I type up.

Irish History? One shan't touch that with a bargepole.
I can't blame you Lizzy - Guinness isn't that nice. Philip had the right idea when he asked if it was made with Liffey water. But don't worry: I reckon you'll enjoy the munchies from the Market in Cork.

I'll just say thanks to the lads that travelled over and congrats to the English team that won. Big shout out to the lads that painted up all the terrain at the last minute because it did look quite nice. And to Floody for organising the food.


  1. Gee baldy what happened to round 5? XD

  2. Who asked you? Who are you? Nobody listens to you, nobody loves you. Get your own blog you comment whore.

  3. I asked me. I'm Me. I listen to me, I love me. I don't need my own blog. I'm too awesome for this game.

  4. @Hellfire: You're disappointing.
    @PW: So you're looking for sex are you?

  5. No I'm not. Because I've got class. Fucking Moo.


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