Of Monsters, Malifaux, Broken Joypads and Boobs

How you could you not like this Spidicules guy?

This is the post that I had before I was sidetracked so I figured I'd try to get this one out before the Kickstarter deadline for Kingdom Death's Monster hits (it has 2 hours left and is at $1.85 million as I type this: edit - 1.86 million; edit - 1.87 million; edit - 1.88 million; edit - 1.89 million).

Most of the lads in Cork will tell you that I've been raving about this for the past month or so and I've managed to drag a few lads into giving it monies (thanks for that James) so there should be a Lantern-fetish gaming scene in place down here by the end of this year. I'm just gutted that I can't get my hands on more stuff (Oh Spidicules, how I adore thee) but I can wait until he hits the shelves to add it to my games. At least you get enough stuff in the box to keep you entertained for a long time.

While I'm waiting for that to arrive I have Malifaux and my Xbox with Dark Souls to keep me entertained. Dark Souls: what a horrendously difficult game.

You will not be singing this while playing Dark Souls.

So difficult in fact, that I've already broken one joypad in a fit of nerdrage because of some boss killing me in some cheap fashion and causing me to lose all my souls (which are used in-game as currency and for upgrading) and having to go back and refight him at full health.

I does have great replayability (is that a word?) though as you'll keep coming back to get one over on a boss just so you can feel really good about finally killing him after 20 plus attempts because he does some bullshit one-hit-kill attack constantly: I'm looking at you Stray Demon, you fat cunt.

Having watched the gameplay vids (one and two) for Monster I was instantly reminded of Dark Souls: you're a scrub in a nightmare realm going up against Monstrous enemies with God-like powers and are only able to buff your character one small step at a time. Except in Monster you have T'n'A to keep you interested in the game. In DS, I've found it is pure rage that motivates me to try to beat whatever boss has just stomped all over me. Hopefully I'll find a happy medium with Monster and not smashing models into little bits when I die.

 Zoraida: Yes, her granny-boobs hang out.

Malifaux also has bit monsters but it's the little ones that got me into the game, specifically the Stitched Together. I've been running a Zoraida/Collodi crew for a while themed upon Dolls and they've been loads of fun although I've going to start repainting them in a more vivid colour scheme with lots of bright colours to represent a travelling puppet show albeit, a puppet show that steals children away to turn them into living dolls.

I reckon my favourite feature of the game is that it uses cards rather than dice and you can cheat cards from your hand to replace a card that you have turn over from your deck. It allows you to plan ahead much more than a dice game will and you will be less likely to get bummed by a single turn of poor cards like you would with a poor turn of dice in 40k. For what its worth, you can get the rules for the game for free here. I've managed to get my hands on Avatar Zoraida (Avatars are like possessed versions of your Master) and I'm looking forward to using her in games as she is more of a damage dealer than regular Zoraida is so I'd like to see how differently she plays.

Collodi and his crew.

One of the nice things about the game is that you have Masters and Henchmen and you can use either to lead your crew of minions. Obviously some types synch up better with others but as long as they're all in-faction they tend to work fine together. I'll get to painting them and will post pics of stuff as I get guys finished.

So I've given you a sales pitch, shown you a guy taking a poop, horrified arachnophobes and then shown you some old ladies boobs. If you've made it this far I'll give you the stuff you're really here for: Hardcore Nudity. (SFW)

KD: Monster's 'Candy & Cola, Primal Huntress and Messenger of the First Story