|Please note: I don't actually advocate eating this shit.|
So it was after a decent night's sleep after watching a poxy win for Ireland in the European Championship qualifiers I had another early start and wandered across the Pale to the nicer part of town. I'll leave the terrible D4 accent jokes to the unfunny Ross O'Carroll-Kelly books - they're so bad they don't even get a link. Here's a link to something better instead.
This post could almost become a Padraic tribute post because I ended up playing him twice in my last two games.
We've crossed swords before back in Brocon but the thing is I actually don't like playing him.
That's because although Padraic is an absolute gent and great craic to play against, he's a good player and you've got to be on top of things because if you make a mistake against him you'll get punished for it and I'm no Max Mosley. Although I reckon I'd change my mind if Rhianna was involved. Anyway, I knew it would be tough going in later rounds but what surprised me was the list he was using. It looked somewhat familiar...
|Imagine this in bright Pink - then you have Padraic's army.|
Wolf Lord on TWC with Wolf Claw, Rune Armour, Shield, Warrior Born (see above)
Rune Priest with Jaws, Lightning, Chooser
Rune Priest with Hurricane, Lightning, Chooser, Meltabombs
5 Wolf Guard: 2 with nothing, 2 with Fist/CombiMelta, 1 with TDA/Cyclone
7 Grey Hunters with Melta, Banner
7 Grey Hunters with Melta, Banner
5 Grey Hunters with Flamer
10 or 12 Fenris Wolves
5 Long Fangs with 4 Rockets (nekkid WG goes here)
5 Long Fangs with 4 Rockets (nekkid WG goes here)
5 Long Fangs with 4 Rockets (WG with TDA goes here)
I didn't know before the 4th game began that they wouldn't swap opponents we'd already played for the final round and we were tied for points already so a draw would guarantee we'd play each other again. Guess what mission were we playing?
Game 4: Draw Mission/Pitched Battle
|The white bits are Long Fangs squads, the red ones objectives.|
At the start of the match Padraic said that whoever won the roll to go first would have a huge advantage and he won the roll taking the relatively open side.
Padraic's Blob set up on the left behind Ruins while the Fangs swarmed all over some ruins in the centre and the top floor of a building on my right with some Grey Hunters under them sitting on their objective.
My objective was placed just within my deployment zone, 3" on top of the ruins which meant that the Wolfblob could only contest it if they were willing to come around one of the sides and have a face-off with my Razorwall and Long Fangs. I didn't think he would. He didn't.
I could elaborate on it further but there's no point really.
1. The Wolfblob had to go back to deal with some Scouts and did little else for the game
2. With most of my army hidden behind the BIG central piece of terrain Padraic's Long Fangs were denied targets so spent much of the game moving his to get into position. This is along the lines of how I play objective games against Guard when going 2nd - stick most of your stuff in reserve and they can't be killed because they can't be shot until late in the game allowing you to make a last-turn rush to grab objectives.
3. He did push his 2 big squads of Grey Hunters into the central ruins in turn 4 after I jumped 2 squads of Fangs in as bait. He mauled the both of them, destroying one entirely while the other fled, exposing them to my army's firepower. I brought down all 8 in one squad with Plasma and after my Grey Hunters had hopped out of their Razors I got stuck in combat with 2 survivors. My Rune Priest dived in in turn 5 and finished the job allowing 3 of my Grey Hunter squads to swarm all over the objective.
Thankfully we were out of time, although Padraic rolled a 2 to see if it would end anyway, and it finished a draw. I was delighted - had it gone on another turn my troops would have had to face down 2 Lightnings and 3 Squads of Long Fangs...
Game 5: Seize Ground/Spearhead
|Here's the terrain.|
Predictably I plopped mine 2 floors up a building and he ended up placing one off-centre and the other to its left. Winning the roll-off to go first I plumped for the side with the high-up objective and 2 high buildings denying Padraic cover for his stuff if it moved into the open.
I won the choice of first or 2nd so I chose to go first so I could blow away Padraig's stuff away and deny as much cover as possible so I went with the corner opposite the one with least terrain.
Blue-grey stuff is mine
Pink is Padraig's
Dark grey are buildings
Light grey are ruins
Red are objectives
Blue is a river
I simply packed everything far away from his Fangs although he told me he had played on the board earlier and knew that by placing his Fangs/Priests in the corner he'd be out of range of most of my guns. You see: he's like a shnake - he's almost reptilian in his movements.
I left my Speeders in Reserve and not Deep Striking because there was nothing worth one-shot'ing so they'd be used to contest/cock-block while the Scouts were Infiltrating behind cover and out of LOS so they could run for the objective on my far-left.
Turns 1 & 2
I move my Razors forward a bit while my Fangs are out of range and I lose a couple as Living Lightning from the other side of the board starts to take its toll. Thankfully he's battering my shooty stuff and not my Troops.
The Wolfblob arrives on Turn 2 and hides behind the walls of the big building beside the river.
Turns 3 & 4
I shuffle my tanks around a bit and I park 2 GH and 1 unit of Fangs on the objective on my right while the rest of the stuff moves into the middle and starts to cock-block the objectives and pour fire into the Wolfblob, trimming a few Wolves. I'm still out of range of the Fangs and the Scouts are still hiding. They're joined by a pair of Speeder from reserve and they're all packed in behind a wall out of LOS. Its a bit sad tbh.
Both enemy Rhinos have showed up by turn 4 and Padraig makes a push for the objectives. Having spent the game plinking (its an adjective, trust me) away at my Razors, bagging one or two, but not doing massive damage to them in general and the Long Fangs losing another couple of guys meant that my Troops were still fine.
This shit just got real. I now have two Rhinos full of Grey Hunters, one unit on foot and a Wolfblob with 2 Lords bearing down on my lines. I have one turn to get rid of everything and I need a win to guarantee a good points finish with the rankings so all of this has to die.
It's a bit crowded isn't it? The Hunters and Priest hop out to (a) distract the Wolfblob by being a scoring unit near an objective and (b) throw Jaws at the two Lords and try to drag one of them down. They had to get out the side near the blob as there was a wreck and an immobilised Razor in their way. I had hoped they'd be able to roll high on their movement and run rolls to get up a level but within 3" of the objective and be a big problem but they only moved 2" and were stuck on the ground. Jaws didn't work either but no shock there really. Padraig stopped for a second as he rolled a 5 for one Lord and he panicked for a second he tried to remember what Initiative he was.
One Speeder boosted to cockblock the Rhino and draw fire from the Fangs while the other moved up to shoot the Rhino. The Scouts broke cover and moved 6" to just get into range of the Grey Hunters - I had one guy within 6" but wasn't going to risk shooting them as they'd probably be out of assault range if anyone died so I just moved my Scouts into base after I voiced my opinion. It turns out that I was just within range. Lols ensue as the Scouts kill 4 Grey Hunters for the loss of 1 (the Wolf Guard only killed one with his Claw), the Hunter is caught running away and fails his 4 saves. Nice.
The Rhino on the right is hammered by Krak Rockets and Meltaguns and is popped open but I have a squad on the ground acting as bubblewrap to keep the enemy Hunters away from the objective. I hope. At least the Razors do a sterling job and bring the Hunter squad down to 4 with their firepower.
The Fangs in the middle of my lines split fire (having spent a turn moving to get into range of something) and make up for their shitty deployment by taking out the Rhino on the left and being the squad that also took out the one on the right. To make things better the GH on my left are pinned! So to recap I've just mangled one unit of Hunters and taken the other two out of the game. Time for a South Park nice I think.
In response, the Lords dive into the Priest and co. sans wolves, who cower behind the building by the river, and predictably eat them. The Hunters on my left move toward my objective but can't risk assaulting me and running away so they run toward my objective. The Fangs take out one Speeder, shake the other, pop a Razor and a Fang or two.
I have one objective, Padraig has none. We roll for the game to end...and it continues.
|These assholes were coming back to haunt me.|
They were predictably torn apart by 3 units of my Grey Hunters in combat and I managed to get 2 units of Hunters back up a level of the building within 3" while the last one was stuck on ground level and fanned out waiting for the pissed-off Lords. I had cleaned house and wasn't going to lose an objective here anyway and I reckoned I had enough guns for a potential Turn 7 to take out both Lords and the Grey Hunters near the Scouts should it continue.
Padraig seperated the Lords with the Claw guy getting stuck into the Hunters on the ground and the Hammer guy chasing the big squad of Long Fangs in my lines. The Grey Hunters move out of the wreckage of their tank and roll poorly. The same thing happens for their run roll and they end up about 4" away from the objective.
If the Scouts can survive a hail of Rockets from and Lightning from the Long Fangs and the game ends its mine...
But the Fangs & Priests pound the Razors and Speeder some more mostly and I pass the few cover saves the Scouts have to make. Fucking A.
The Claw Lord mangled the Hunters although they held their ground while the Hammer Lord fell short of his Long Fang target.
We rolled for the game to end again and Peter from Warhamsandwich got a 2. Nice one Pete - what's the chances of you rolling a 2 on a D6 when I need it btw? Ya, calculate that one with your mathshammer, fucker.
So after a very draining few hours I managed to scrape a win. After the points were counted I ended up with 5th place overall. There were a few flurried calculations for points and I was happy out when the numbers were showing a Top 5 end of season Ranking position which was going to guarantee an ETC team invite.
I've been celebrating (read: drinking) since.
P.S. Forgot to mention the cornflakes thing. Apparently the uncultured Nordies couldn't pronounce or spell Padraig's surname so they spelt it Cornflakes instead. That's almost as classy as shouting Moo at a group of unattractive ladies in a pub at the top of your voice.